Pausing to Reflect
Mondays are hard for most people, I think, so I’m not alone in this. But I find that I have such a lack of momentum—physically and mentally. I spend my weekends intentionally not working at all, and I spend as much time with my kids as possible. I get transported to this other dimension and pace of living. I find that my brain doesn’t have to be churning as much, but I have to be really physically active to keep up with those guys. It’s certainly tiring to care for the needs of 3 small humans for 2 days straight.
By the time Monday rolls around it’s almost like I’m walking into a brand new job, and I’m waiting for some training and direction. Whenever my boss will show up and introduce me to the person to whom I will report, then I will know what to do. But then I realize I work for myself, and I have to generate that momentum and report to myself.
At the start of this week, I felt like my memory had been erased. I was feeling discouraged about being able to sell my course, and I didn’t even feel that it was worthy of being sold. I had forgotten that I made my first 2 sales last week—aside from my mom and aunt. (I’m not discounting those first 2 sales at all! It’s great to sell to your family because at least you know that you have something good enough that your own mom will support. If not, you’re in trouble.) But I had actually made 2 sales that weren’t family! One was a former student’s family, and one was a friend of a former student.
On Friday afternoon, I couldn’t have been prouder. But on Monday morning, those things never happened. My start-of-the-week workflow began with editing and posting more of the course content, and it was in those moments that something magical took place. As I watched myself teaching one of the lessons, I had a moment of detached critique, and I genuinely enjoyed what I was seeing. In a moment completely devoid of pride or ego, I saw an effective and knowledgeable teacher on camera.
It was just what I needed to see myself teaching and to believe in what I was saying. It seemed that the lessons I was teaching could be life-changing. I cannot tell you how encouraging this whole moment was for me. It’s so hard to pause all of the hard work and stop looking into the future, just to see the progress that has been made. And to feel proud of it. I think someone who is creating something new is going to be the hardest critic, which of course has its strengths. But it is so good to take a minute to be proud and see the fruit of all your hard work.
I still have a lot more to do, of course, but it makes a big difference to move forward and know deep down that I made something really great. I have the confidence that it will change people’s lives. And I can share with many more groups much more boldly. I need to remind myself to continue to take these moments to reflect on what I’ve done and to feel proud. It’s very tempting to keep moving forward without ever stopping or feeling a sense of accomplishment. I will work to pause and see where I have come from more often.